The Bird in the Lunch Box

     A few years back I did landscaping for a company called J.S. Property Services. One particular Friday, I was working on the mow truck. Which is exactly what it sounds like. Three guys pile into a little truck and drive all over the valley mowing lawns. This day I was with Carson and a kid named Roy, who was the day's driver. Us three in a group were definitely not the most efficient crew, as we made a significant amount of fun together. We had a GPS in the car that one day Carson figured out we could set up voice commands for, and it would let us choose any name for it we wanted. Roy wasn't there when we learned that, so we named it Roy. The GPS didn't have the best hearing though, so you kind of had to yell at it when we were on the road for it to hear us. So we would find any excuse we could to start yelling on the drive, and any time we shouted "Roy!", the GPS would make a ding and ask us to please say a command, interrupting the current guide. But that's not what's important right now.

     Anyway that specific Friday, we were mowing the lawn of a rather large house with a huge yard. Like we could fit at least four regular sized houses in the front yard alone. And the back yard was filled up with a winding stream, basketball and tennis courts, and basically their own forest. So I was all alone while I was mowing the side of this house. I was just going along, mowing my own business, when I saw a tiny robin jump out from under my lawn mower. I stopped the lawn mower, amazed/grateful that the little bird didn't get chopped up and sprayed all over the place. I looked at the robin for a few seconds and I realized there was only one reasonable thing to do.

     So I picked the bird up and poked my head around the corner to see if anyone was in the front yard. The coast was clear, so I started towards the truck with the intention to close the baby robin in side the cab. I got there without being spotted, opened the truck door and suddenly saw a better idea. Roy's lunch box was sitting right on the driver seat. I unzipped the lunch box and placed the bird inside. I'd seen Roy snacking from his box all day so it shouldn't be long until he discovered it.

     We finished up and piled back into the truck. Roy didn't reach for his lunchbox. We headed to the next house. Roy didn't seem to want anything to eat. We mowed at least 4 more houses, and Roy had not shown any interest in his lunchbox at all. It was just up against the window behind us, and I was starting to get worried about the bird in there, but also kind of hoping it had eaten Roy's sandwich. Finally it was Carson that saved the day.

Carson: Roy are you gonna eat the rest of your lunch?

Roy: Well I might have some other bit of snack stuff from it, but I don't like the sandwich.

Me: Roy don't you choose what is on your own sandwich that you make at home every day?

Roy: No.

Carson: Well can I eat your sandwich?

Roy: Yeah, if you like mustard.

Carson: I'll eat it.

Carson: [Unzips Roy's Lunchbox] ROY!!

GPS: *Ding* Please say a command

Roy: What is wrong with this thing!?

Carson: ROY WHY IS THERE A BIRD IN YOUR LUNCHBOX??

Me: [Looking over and pretending to be surprised]  ROY!

GPS: *Ding* Please say a command

Roy: What??

Carson: DO YOU EAT BIRDS!?

Roy: What are you talking about?? Give me that!

     Roy reached over to his lunchbox to see what Carson was talking about. I hurried and took control of the wheel, because Roy didn't seem to think that letting go with both hands to look in his lunchbox would be a problem.

Roy: HOW DID THAT GET IN THERE??

Carson: You didn't put that in there??

Roy: NO! I swear that wasn't even in there earlier!!

Me: Well how did it get in there then??

Roy: I have no idea!

Carson: Did you leave it unzipped and the truck door open while we were mowing a house?

Roy: I JUST SAID I DON'T KNOW!!

Carson: WELL SORRY FOR TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT, ROY!

GPS: *Ding* Please say a command

Roy: WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE TURN THAT THING OFF! What am I supposed to do with this bird now??

Me: Take it home

Roy: I'm not taking it home!

Carson: You have to take it back to where it came from! We've probably driven it like 100 miles away from its home by now!

Roy: I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT CAME FROM

Carson: Well we can't just leave it somewhere all alone, it's still a baby!!

Roy: [Pulling over] I'm just gonna drop it off right here

Me: This is right on the side of the highway, drop it off here and it's done for.

Roy: It'll fly away!

Carson: If it could fly do you think it would be sitting in your lunchbox??

Roy: I don't even care anymore!

     So Roy got out of the truck and put set the bird on the side of the highway, despite Carson's protests. Then as he was pulling back on to the road, Carson suddenly yelled to watch out. Just then we see the bird fly right in front of the car, making its second near miss of the day. And yes, turned out the bird could fly just fine. Right into traffic.