My College Bathrooms

     We have the worst bathrooms in the world here in my college dorm. One of them, clogs every time you touch it ever, and the other one doesn't have a working fan. So generally we'll leave to one of the classroom buildings to poop unless it's an emergency or late at night or something. I had such a time of need come up, so I chose to use the one without a fan. I walk in, lift up the seat, and see there is still some stuff left over from whoever was before me. So, like any reasonable person, I flush the toilet.
     WORST MISTAKE I HAVE EVER MADE IN MY LIFE.
     The toilet didn't flush, but the new water came in. It came faster than a flash flood. It overflowed the toilet. I grabbed the plunger in a moment of desperation, but the water was coming for my Nike's too fast. I was being pushed back further and further into the corner, until not even that was safe from the floodwaters. I stood up onto the side of the bathtub. In an attempt to stop the horror, I plunged the plunger into the toilet (which made it overflow even more, because water displacement). Naturally, I was screaming throughout this entire ordeal. Roommate Brayden shows up asking what I'm yelling about and see's the horror.



Brayden: What happened!?!?

Me: I NEED 4 BILLION PAPER TOWELS!!!!

Brayden: Why??

Me: LOOK AT THIS BRAYDEN!! HOW DO YOU WANT TO CLEAN THIS UP?? GET A STRAW AND START DRINKING OR GRAB ME SOME PAPER TOWELS

Brayden: I don't have 4 billion paper towels though!

     I finally get the stupid plunger to work (worst plunger I've ever used in my whole life forever), unclog the toilet, and we decide we need to head to one of the school buildings for paper towels. We break in, Brayden heads to see if he can get into the custodial closet, and I head to the bathroom and start waving my hand past a row of electric paper towel dispensers. After a few minutes, Brayden shows up with one of those giant industrial rolls he found in the teacher's lounge. So we take that and what I got the dispensers to dispense. WE USED SOO MANY PAPER TOWELS. We would roll the roll down the hall, bunch it up, put it on the floor, and the whole thing would be soaked. So we would put that bunch in the trash and go again. It took forever and it was disgusting. There was enough fluid to fill up a kiddie pool. Gallons. More than a toilet should ever produce in a single, or even a few flushes.
     We finally get it soaked up, and spray the entire bathroom down with Windex and then with bleach and then wipe it up again. My Nike's are currently in the washer.